The story begins

Dear blog, 


I am so sorry that I have to give you such tricky and awful name :  "Am Up to No Good" , as I have tried all my best to act like one and speak like one.


Basically, I live the life of a good person, until the evil side of me surges, like a giant tide that flushed my life, haunted me for so long that I can remember, I decided to made peace with her.


So, dear blog, you will be a diary and fiction story of hers.




I picked up the habit of writting diary ever since childhood, spent hours in writting, even retrospecting, and my job require me to write a lot.


I thought I am doing a good job recording some sort of memoir, until lately, a friend asked me, if I ever lied to myself in diary ?


I blurted out a "NO", no even blinked my eyelids, but deep inside, I knew that it was a YES , which so obviuos that I am pretty much a lier.

It disheartens me to admit, I always lie to my dear diaries, I didn't not face the real me. 

The fact is, I don't feel secure enough to write the truth about myself, for fear the others would know my true colours.

My deepest fear is what I wrote previously would come back to  me, and more importantly, the rumours and critics would always haunt me..

My entire upbringing, seem to accept only the goodness in people, and there's no room for one's bad charators and evil thought, such as greed, hatred, resent, distrust,lust, envy and jealousy. 

You would be an outcast and being brandes "the others", if the any one of them found out what your true self is.

I once felt shameful to have such elements in me, but in time I've learnt to deal with the ghost in me, and we made peace with each other.

I didn't want to be part of and kind of politic, lobby and politicking, I've tried to avoid that, it's hurt to be an outsider and outcast, not until recently that I realise that the way I behave, in fact is a fight back.

I'm not ashame of the real me now, I am no angel, and have no wish to go paradise after this life, I now gladly take the whole me as me.

So, if I were evil, that I better take every aun of my strength to master the skill, if not become the best, at least become a good one.